Justin B. Smith
December 2009
We are honored to announce Justin B. Smith as Dab the AIDS Bear's Angel for December 2009.
The following is Justin's story:
My name is Justin B Smith I’m 29 years old and I have HIV. I grew up in the middle class environment of Silver Spring, Maryland (DC Suburb). In general my childhood was a happy one. Even when my parents got divorced when I was 8 years old both of them stayed strong and were in my life. I was a spoiled brat and got just about everything I could want. When I was 19 I moved to DC and against my parents wishes I joined the U.S. Air Force and moved to San Antonio, TX; Biloxi MS; and then to Dover DE. I stayed in the military for 4 years and had the time of my life.
Since I was only about 1 ½ hours from DC I visited frequently. When I left the military in 2003 I moved to DC with my boyfriend (at the time). That didn’t work out and I reluctantly went back to being single. I then started going out and partying a lot. I did certain things I know were not good for me. I knew what I was doing but didn’t care I felt alone and my self esteem was virtually gone. In 2005 I began to get sick and one day I threw up 5 times. I knew something was wrong. So I struggled with my decision to get an HIV test. Eventually when I did it came up positive. I was down…….but not out.
Knowing the positives and the Negatives…….
Also when I was engaged in DC’s Gay Community I met a lot of interesting and good people. As I got to know more and more gay black men I noticed that a lot of them were survivors living with HIV. I made friends with a lot of them, but who knew I would be standing in their shoes years later.
Getting to know so many positive and open HIV infected men changed my own mind about the stigma and the disease it self. I cared for each and every one of them. But more recently in early 2005 I was living in SW Washington (The Waterfront). I had two roommates named Anthony O. Harris and David A Wilson. Both of them cared for me like I was there son. Anthony and David were HIV positive and at the time I wasn’t. David was from Baltimore Maryland and was in the later stages of HIV. Anthony had been doing well with HIV and had been living with it since the early 90’s. David’s health began to fail him and our abode became more of a hospice. I’d often take off work just to feed, change, bathe and talk to him. His hair was brittle and had fallen out. I often had to carry him to the bathroom and change his diapers. David’s mother came and got him to take him up to Baltimore, Anthony had called her earlier to make arrangements. David didn’t want to leave but Anthony thought it was for the best. I was not on the lease and had no say over what was happening. David moved back to Baltimore and two weeks later he was dead. Anthony died in 2007 I believe.
Why I do what I do……
In 2008 after living with HIV for about 3 years my doctor decided to put me on HIV medications because my T-Cells were 261 and Viral Load 77,000. I was scared out of my mind; I didn’t know what to do or what might happen to me. My doctor did tell me what the side effects were, but I couldn’t hear it. I couldn’t actually sit there and listen to it I needed to see it.
So, I looked on the internet and I couldn’t find ANYONE (especially a Black/African American) that was recording there life after medication. I couldn’t find anyone that was on the same medications that I was on and actually telling their story via audio/visual devices on the trials and tribulations of being HIV positive. This shocked me.
So I began to think about all the funerals I have attended from fallen friends of this disease and I thought, “How can I help, and how can I make sure that their deaths did no go in vane?” After days of thinking, I came up with Justin’s HIV Journal. I didn’t know how I would start this journal at all. My husband Dr Philip B Terry-Smith, is the Executive Director of an HIV/AIDS organization in DC called, Prevention Works, he came up with several ideas that help me with constructing Justin’s HIV Journal, including the name.
Since the journal has come out I’ve received hundreds of e-mails from all over the world as far as Australia and as close as the same city I live in now, Laurel, Maryland. It has helped me feel like I’ve made a difference in this world of HIV. I hope people are still getting something from it.
Justin’s HIV Journal is aimed to educate other on education, prevent the spread on HIV and make the whole world aware that there are faces to this disease, face like me.
For all these reasons and more, we are honored to have Justin B. Smith as Dab the AIDS Bear's Angel for December 2009.
The following is Justin's story:
My name is Justin B Smith I’m 29 years old and I have HIV. I grew up in the middle class environment of Silver Spring, Maryland (DC Suburb). In general my childhood was a happy one. Even when my parents got divorced when I was 8 years old both of them stayed strong and were in my life. I was a spoiled brat and got just about everything I could want. When I was 19 I moved to DC and against my parents wishes I joined the U.S. Air Force and moved to San Antonio, TX; Biloxi MS; and then to Dover DE. I stayed in the military for 4 years and had the time of my life.
Since I was only about 1 ½ hours from DC I visited frequently. When I left the military in 2003 I moved to DC with my boyfriend (at the time). That didn’t work out and I reluctantly went back to being single. I then started going out and partying a lot. I did certain things I know were not good for me. I knew what I was doing but didn’t care I felt alone and my self esteem was virtually gone. In 2005 I began to get sick and one day I threw up 5 times. I knew something was wrong. So I struggled with my decision to get an HIV test. Eventually when I did it came up positive. I was down…….but not out.
Knowing the positives and the Negatives…….
Also when I was engaged in DC’s Gay Community I met a lot of interesting and good people. As I got to know more and more gay black men I noticed that a lot of them were survivors living with HIV. I made friends with a lot of them, but who knew I would be standing in their shoes years later.
Getting to know so many positive and open HIV infected men changed my own mind about the stigma and the disease it self. I cared for each and every one of them. But more recently in early 2005 I was living in SW Washington (The Waterfront). I had two roommates named Anthony O. Harris and David A Wilson. Both of them cared for me like I was there son. Anthony and David were HIV positive and at the time I wasn’t. David was from Baltimore Maryland and was in the later stages of HIV. Anthony had been doing well with HIV and had been living with it since the early 90’s. David’s health began to fail him and our abode became more of a hospice. I’d often take off work just to feed, change, bathe and talk to him. His hair was brittle and had fallen out. I often had to carry him to the bathroom and change his diapers. David’s mother came and got him to take him up to Baltimore, Anthony had called her earlier to make arrangements. David didn’t want to leave but Anthony thought it was for the best. I was not on the lease and had no say over what was happening. David moved back to Baltimore and two weeks later he was dead. Anthony died in 2007 I believe.
Why I do what I do……
In 2008 after living with HIV for about 3 years my doctor decided to put me on HIV medications because my T-Cells were 261 and Viral Load 77,000. I was scared out of my mind; I didn’t know what to do or what might happen to me. My doctor did tell me what the side effects were, but I couldn’t hear it. I couldn’t actually sit there and listen to it I needed to see it.
So, I looked on the internet and I couldn’t find ANYONE (especially a Black/African American) that was recording there life after medication. I couldn’t find anyone that was on the same medications that I was on and actually telling their story via audio/visual devices on the trials and tribulations of being HIV positive. This shocked me.
So I began to think about all the funerals I have attended from fallen friends of this disease and I thought, “How can I help, and how can I make sure that their deaths did no go in vane?” After days of thinking, I came up with Justin’s HIV Journal. I didn’t know how I would start this journal at all. My husband Dr Philip B Terry-Smith, is the Executive Director of an HIV/AIDS organization in DC called, Prevention Works, he came up with several ideas that help me with constructing Justin’s HIV Journal, including the name.
Since the journal has come out I’ve received hundreds of e-mails from all over the world as far as Australia and as close as the same city I live in now, Laurel, Maryland. It has helped me feel like I’ve made a difference in this world of HIV. I hope people are still getting something from it.
Justin’s HIV Journal is aimed to educate other on education, prevent the spread on HIV and make the whole world aware that there are faces to this disease, face like me.
For all these reasons and more, we are honored to have Justin B. Smith as Dab the AIDS Bear's Angel for December 2009.
- PROGRAMS AND SERVICES
- TEDDY BEAR TOUCHDOWN
- MAKE A DONATION
- ADAP WAITING LISTS IN AMERICA
- BOARD OF DIRECTORS
- DADDY DAB'S BLOG
- DAB THE AIDS BEAR
- DAB THE AIDS BEAR'S ANGELS
- DAB THE AIDS BEAR VIRTUAL AIDS MEMORIAL
- I'M ONE IN A MILLION
- WHERE IN THE WORLD IS DAB?
- A CHRISTIAN RESPONSE TO AIDS
- COMMUNITY EVENTS
- GUEST BOOK
- CORPORATE AND CLUB SPONSORS
- LINKS AND RESOURCES
- LEGAL INFO AND NOTICES
