Roger Remsberg
November 2009
It is with great honor that Dab the AIDS Bear Project names Roger Remsberg, our Dab's Angel for November 2009.
I grew up a only child I would have had a sister a year older than me but she was still born. I watched my mom endure a lot of things growing up. I was not around for the loss of my sibling but I saw my mother cry even years later. I guess on her birth date and certain things or conversations would bring it back. I also watched my father be physically and mentally abusive to her and when I was 13 and old enough to understand I told her enough was enough and we would make it without him. She remarried but he was just about the same as my real father maybe even worse. I did not find out until after they split up just how terrible he really was. I was in my teens and out of the house more working and socializing so I was unaware of things that happened when I was not around. I was always the picked on kid in school skinny and frailer in Kindergarten and first grade but by third grade I was overweight and went from being too skinny to being too fat. I moved out of the house at 18 to get away from my step-dad, still unaware of his treatment of my mother. I worked 2 jobs from the time I graduated high school until I was 30 and moved to Baltimore. I did this so I could always afford some of the finer materialistic things in life and to be able to give to my friends and family. I love to shop and to spend money and it took 2 jobs to keep up with my spending habits.My mom separated from husband number 2 when I was 22 Thank God! and started to date Bill who is now my step-dad. They have been married for over 15 years and he has been more of a father to me than I ever had. I guess the third time is a charm. Don't get me wrong we have ups and downs lie every family, but they have supported me through everything including my lifestyle, my illness, disabilities, and my work with Positive Influence. A lot of times I don't even have to ask they here me talk about a event or a client in need and jump in with suggestions and what they can do to help. They truly are my backbone and for the past 3 years when my feet and legs are not working correctly they become my feet and legs and take care of what I am not able to.My mom and I have a special song.. It's Wind Beneath My Wings, by Bette Midler and from the movie Beaches. This is our special song because we have always been there for each other when we felt we had no one else and lifted each other up.
As I said I was always picked on growing up fat boy in elementary school and middle school and Fag in high school I had lots of female friends especially the sistas but to most of the guys I was just the queer. I never really let it bother me and I guess it was because I knew it was true. I don't regret a thing. My mother made me strong and the picking all those years did as well. I could love someone with all my heart but I could also dislike to the point that as I got older I got messed with less. I also grew into my mother and have become that way more and more over the years. I am very straight forward and say what's on my mind. Some people don't like that especially in my volunteer work. I take what needs to be taken seriously but I am also a clown at times and can have the whole room laughing hysterically. I take Positive Influence very seriously and some people don't like it when I express to them that I don't think they are pulling their weight, especially in Officers and Board positions. My biggest problem with some people is they say they are going to take on responsibilities and tasks and don't carry them out. I also do not like it when people bring personal issues to a organization or start he said she said crap. My motto is check it at the door. If you are here to really help other and support the mission of the organization you would not be trying to stir things up with others involved in the organization.
Getting a little ahead of myself. I became involved with Positive Influence because I met someone with the disease. We met at a local club and started dating and after 2 months of dating but not going to the point that he could give me the virus, he got up the strength to tell me he had AIDS. I think he expected me to leave and never look back. We both cried and I told him I would not be going anywhere. I could not I already had feelings much stronger than to be able to do that. I assured him that for as long as he wanted me in his life I would be there on whatever capacity. I had never felt this way about anyone not even a guy I had been in a nine year relationship with. I knew we cared very deeply for each other. Whenever we were intimate he was so afraid of the possibility of infecting me he would try to push away. I remember one time when he distanced himself. I was so upset and my mother actually ran into him and he said he was just going through a rough time and no matter what until one of our time was up we would always be there for each other. I promised him that I would be there until he took his last breath and after just having my leg amputated in January 2007 and then being in a rehab hospital through most of February I was unable to be there as he declined. We talked on the phone but he never told me just how bad it was, I got a call at the rehab hospital on February 24th saying they were taking him to the hospital. On Sunday I got a call saying they did not know if he was going to last much longer. I threw a fit and wanted to leave the rehab hospital. They advised me if I left it would be against medical advice and the insurance company may not pay my bill which was way over 100 grand. Luckily his friend called me back that night and said they thought he would make until I got out on the 27 th which was only 2 days away. I got out and went to be with him. He went to Hospice on Wednesday of that week and Friday I asked his mom if I could stay there with her until he was gone and I thank god every day I was there holding his hand when he left this world.
I had known people with HIV and AIDS and have good friends that have passed on and some that are fortunately still here but I had never experienced it that close to me before. I became involved with PI (Positive Influence Inc. Because he was one of the founders of the organization. He saw something in me and my desire to give to others. I had been looking for something to do to give back after surviving toe amputations, kidney disease, heart disease, congestive heart failure , and cardiomyopethy. I felt I needed to realize my blessings to still be alive and able to do for others and do something with this ability. PI seemed like the perfect thing, especially since it affected someone that I cared a great deal for and was a major part of my life. I started out as a Board member and director of development summer 2003. In January 2004 the COO of the organization became ill with complications and I was voted in as the C. O. O, by April I was having the first fundraising show with the help of the volunteers and a wonderful crew of female and male impersonators in Western Maryland. The western Maryland Frederick and Washington Counties holds a amazing and loving supportive community. I can't think of anywhere else I'd rather live. We took the money from the first fundraiser and opened the Positive Influence Resource Center in Frederick MD. There we held support groups and HIV testing as well as social activities and Internet service to clients . We also held board meetings and volunteer workgroup sessions. We over the years have helped many clients financially with medication, utilities, rent, vehicle payment and other necessities when people were not working or laid off, or awaiting disability to start due to complications associated with HIV and AIDS. We have also assisted 2 expecting mother with getting from Frederick to Baltimore MD for prenatal care needed to keep the babies from being born HIV positive. and did this when gas was $4.00 a gallon. Aside from the satisfaction and the warm feeling you get when you look in the mirror and know you have helped someone or made their life easier I have made some friends through this volunteer work that are absolutely amazing and that I will love and cherish having them in my life until I am long gone.
Friendship is priceless. I believe it to be Gods greatest gift. I heard something once and I can' t even remember where but it summarizes how I feel about friendships through your life. Friends are like trees. Some come into your life and are gone in a season like a leaf, they come just long enough to teach you certain thins about life and other people. Some are like branches that are around for several seasons but a wind can come along and the break off and blow away. But then there are those that are like roots that are there for your entire life and they support, enrich and lift you and keep you blossoming and growing every year. These are the kind of friends I have made a lot of friends that are my roots over the years and a few from my volunteer work. I would not change a thing and have no regrets.
PI has since gone through some changes. With a stretched very rough economy we have had to downsize due to lower rates of volunteerism, less contributions and increasing costs. We closed our center in October, because we felt the money we raise would be better suited going to persons living with HIV and AIDS rather than paying rent and utility bills. Also with increasing rates on liability insurance to cover clients directly we have stopped support group and testing until we reorganize and decide which direction to go. For now we are doing our fundraising and distributing the contributions to other organizations that assist persons living with the disease such as Washington County Social Services which has a special HIV/AIDS services unit that supports everyone affected by HIV and AIDS within that county. The money is used to help with things that normal county assistance does not provide. We have recently help 3 of their clients get off the street and out of shelters. I was so happy to present their program director with a check at out October show for $2500.00 to get through the end of the year. Tears streamed down her face when I presented the check to her. That's what it is all about. The joy she felt knowing our little organization of 10 to 20 people was enabling her to buy something as simple as laundry detergent for someone who could not afford it or pay a eclectic or heat bill. Help with ,medications not covered by MADAP. Seeing that is what fuels me to continue, along with the memory of my dear Joe Mickievicz, one of the founders of PI in 2001.
It is a struggle to keep things going at times, but I have a wonderful group of dedicated volunteers and board members that keep on pushing forward. I will keep going until there is a vaccine and our assistance is no longer need, or until I am no longer able. I was so very fortunate back in October. Every year I present a sponsor award and a community service award as well as a volunteer of the year award. We also recognize what I call unsung heroes in the community and awards for performers that come out every year to help us raise money to do what we do. This year I was so fortunate and blessed that the group chipped in and gave me a award for 6 years of dedicated service. Coming from the people that support PI and know what all I do to keep things going and together. Words cannot describe how I felt to be recognized. It was the greatest honor I have ever felt or received in my life. Some may say oh its just a plaque with a clock and some words engraved, but its much more than that. It means that in my life I had a purpose and I did good things with my time besides making life all about me something that too many people do all the time. You have to love yourself and others and be good to yourself but you can also share that with others, people you don't even know. You feel much better about yourself and realize a self worth many people never realize.
For these and many more reasons; it is with great honor with welcome Roger Remsberg on board as Dab's Angel for November 2009.
I grew up a only child I would have had a sister a year older than me but she was still born. I watched my mom endure a lot of things growing up. I was not around for the loss of my sibling but I saw my mother cry even years later. I guess on her birth date and certain things or conversations would bring it back. I also watched my father be physically and mentally abusive to her and when I was 13 and old enough to understand I told her enough was enough and we would make it without him. She remarried but he was just about the same as my real father maybe even worse. I did not find out until after they split up just how terrible he really was. I was in my teens and out of the house more working and socializing so I was unaware of things that happened when I was not around. I was always the picked on kid in school skinny and frailer in Kindergarten and first grade but by third grade I was overweight and went from being too skinny to being too fat. I moved out of the house at 18 to get away from my step-dad, still unaware of his treatment of my mother. I worked 2 jobs from the time I graduated high school until I was 30 and moved to Baltimore. I did this so I could always afford some of the finer materialistic things in life and to be able to give to my friends and family. I love to shop and to spend money and it took 2 jobs to keep up with my spending habits.My mom separated from husband number 2 when I was 22 Thank God! and started to date Bill who is now my step-dad. They have been married for over 15 years and he has been more of a father to me than I ever had. I guess the third time is a charm. Don't get me wrong we have ups and downs lie every family, but they have supported me through everything including my lifestyle, my illness, disabilities, and my work with Positive Influence. A lot of times I don't even have to ask they here me talk about a event or a client in need and jump in with suggestions and what they can do to help. They truly are my backbone and for the past 3 years when my feet and legs are not working correctly they become my feet and legs and take care of what I am not able to.My mom and I have a special song.. It's Wind Beneath My Wings, by Bette Midler and from the movie Beaches. This is our special song because we have always been there for each other when we felt we had no one else and lifted each other up.
As I said I was always picked on growing up fat boy in elementary school and middle school and Fag in high school I had lots of female friends especially the sistas but to most of the guys I was just the queer. I never really let it bother me and I guess it was because I knew it was true. I don't regret a thing. My mother made me strong and the picking all those years did as well. I could love someone with all my heart but I could also dislike to the point that as I got older I got messed with less. I also grew into my mother and have become that way more and more over the years. I am very straight forward and say what's on my mind. Some people don't like that especially in my volunteer work. I take what needs to be taken seriously but I am also a clown at times and can have the whole room laughing hysterically. I take Positive Influence very seriously and some people don't like it when I express to them that I don't think they are pulling their weight, especially in Officers and Board positions. My biggest problem with some people is they say they are going to take on responsibilities and tasks and don't carry them out. I also do not like it when people bring personal issues to a organization or start he said she said crap. My motto is check it at the door. If you are here to really help other and support the mission of the organization you would not be trying to stir things up with others involved in the organization.
Getting a little ahead of myself. I became involved with Positive Influence because I met someone with the disease. We met at a local club and started dating and after 2 months of dating but not going to the point that he could give me the virus, he got up the strength to tell me he had AIDS. I think he expected me to leave and never look back. We both cried and I told him I would not be going anywhere. I could not I already had feelings much stronger than to be able to do that. I assured him that for as long as he wanted me in his life I would be there on whatever capacity. I had never felt this way about anyone not even a guy I had been in a nine year relationship with. I knew we cared very deeply for each other. Whenever we were intimate he was so afraid of the possibility of infecting me he would try to push away. I remember one time when he distanced himself. I was so upset and my mother actually ran into him and he said he was just going through a rough time and no matter what until one of our time was up we would always be there for each other. I promised him that I would be there until he took his last breath and after just having my leg amputated in January 2007 and then being in a rehab hospital through most of February I was unable to be there as he declined. We talked on the phone but he never told me just how bad it was, I got a call at the rehab hospital on February 24th saying they were taking him to the hospital. On Sunday I got a call saying they did not know if he was going to last much longer. I threw a fit and wanted to leave the rehab hospital. They advised me if I left it would be against medical advice and the insurance company may not pay my bill which was way over 100 grand. Luckily his friend called me back that night and said they thought he would make until I got out on the 27 th which was only 2 days away. I got out and went to be with him. He went to Hospice on Wednesday of that week and Friday I asked his mom if I could stay there with her until he was gone and I thank god every day I was there holding his hand when he left this world.
I had known people with HIV and AIDS and have good friends that have passed on and some that are fortunately still here but I had never experienced it that close to me before. I became involved with PI (Positive Influence Inc. Because he was one of the founders of the organization. He saw something in me and my desire to give to others. I had been looking for something to do to give back after surviving toe amputations, kidney disease, heart disease, congestive heart failure , and cardiomyopethy. I felt I needed to realize my blessings to still be alive and able to do for others and do something with this ability. PI seemed like the perfect thing, especially since it affected someone that I cared a great deal for and was a major part of my life. I started out as a Board member and director of development summer 2003. In January 2004 the COO of the organization became ill with complications and I was voted in as the C. O. O, by April I was having the first fundraising show with the help of the volunteers and a wonderful crew of female and male impersonators in Western Maryland. The western Maryland Frederick and Washington Counties holds a amazing and loving supportive community. I can't think of anywhere else I'd rather live. We took the money from the first fundraiser and opened the Positive Influence Resource Center in Frederick MD. There we held support groups and HIV testing as well as social activities and Internet service to clients . We also held board meetings and volunteer workgroup sessions. We over the years have helped many clients financially with medication, utilities, rent, vehicle payment and other necessities when people were not working or laid off, or awaiting disability to start due to complications associated with HIV and AIDS. We have also assisted 2 expecting mother with getting from Frederick to Baltimore MD for prenatal care needed to keep the babies from being born HIV positive. and did this when gas was $4.00 a gallon. Aside from the satisfaction and the warm feeling you get when you look in the mirror and know you have helped someone or made their life easier I have made some friends through this volunteer work that are absolutely amazing and that I will love and cherish having them in my life until I am long gone.
Friendship is priceless. I believe it to be Gods greatest gift. I heard something once and I can' t even remember where but it summarizes how I feel about friendships through your life. Friends are like trees. Some come into your life and are gone in a season like a leaf, they come just long enough to teach you certain thins about life and other people. Some are like branches that are around for several seasons but a wind can come along and the break off and blow away. But then there are those that are like roots that are there for your entire life and they support, enrich and lift you and keep you blossoming and growing every year. These are the kind of friends I have made a lot of friends that are my roots over the years and a few from my volunteer work. I would not change a thing and have no regrets.
PI has since gone through some changes. With a stretched very rough economy we have had to downsize due to lower rates of volunteerism, less contributions and increasing costs. We closed our center in October, because we felt the money we raise would be better suited going to persons living with HIV and AIDS rather than paying rent and utility bills. Also with increasing rates on liability insurance to cover clients directly we have stopped support group and testing until we reorganize and decide which direction to go. For now we are doing our fundraising and distributing the contributions to other organizations that assist persons living with the disease such as Washington County Social Services which has a special HIV/AIDS services unit that supports everyone affected by HIV and AIDS within that county. The money is used to help with things that normal county assistance does not provide. We have recently help 3 of their clients get off the street and out of shelters. I was so happy to present their program director with a check at out October show for $2500.00 to get through the end of the year. Tears streamed down her face when I presented the check to her. That's what it is all about. The joy she felt knowing our little organization of 10 to 20 people was enabling her to buy something as simple as laundry detergent for someone who could not afford it or pay a eclectic or heat bill. Help with ,medications not covered by MADAP. Seeing that is what fuels me to continue, along with the memory of my dear Joe Mickievicz, one of the founders of PI in 2001.
It is a struggle to keep things going at times, but I have a wonderful group of dedicated volunteers and board members that keep on pushing forward. I will keep going until there is a vaccine and our assistance is no longer need, or until I am no longer able. I was so very fortunate back in October. Every year I present a sponsor award and a community service award as well as a volunteer of the year award. We also recognize what I call unsung heroes in the community and awards for performers that come out every year to help us raise money to do what we do. This year I was so fortunate and blessed that the group chipped in and gave me a award for 6 years of dedicated service. Coming from the people that support PI and know what all I do to keep things going and together. Words cannot describe how I felt to be recognized. It was the greatest honor I have ever felt or received in my life. Some may say oh its just a plaque with a clock and some words engraved, but its much more than that. It means that in my life I had a purpose and I did good things with my time besides making life all about me something that too many people do all the time. You have to love yourself and others and be good to yourself but you can also share that with others, people you don't even know. You feel much better about yourself and realize a self worth many people never realize.
For these and many more reasons; it is with great honor with welcome Roger Remsberg on board as Dab's Angel for November 2009.
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